After last night’s record of staying up till at least 5.30ish, I have had a long day and will be surprised if I last incredibly long tonight, I have already had a big dinner so once again no need for snacks, I just have my customary pint of diet Pepsi.
11.55am: As always I turn TMSofa on ready and turn Sky down, I place my bets (I won’t go into the bets too much as I will keep those updated in another piece I’m writing) needless to say, I am very confident England will score lots of runs.
00.00am: 1st ball of the day is defended by Strauss and they run a quick single.
00.02am: Fuck me!! Strauss plays to form and gets himself out 3rd ball of the day, opting to leave a straight ball from the rug and it hits the top of his stumps, “Andy….see that wooden thing in your hands….you can stop the ball hitting the stumps with it!!” Just for the record, Strauss has batted in three innings, his scores are: 0, 110 and 1!!
00.07am: The rug and Harris (amongst other Aussies) seem to be wearing an incredible amount of sun cream, 2 things are pertinent. 1) Aren’t they Australian and therefore used to the sun? And 2) they look like a shit/camp version of Kiss.
00.14am: As I said I won’t mention the betting too much but needless to say Strauss fucked half my bets up by being a tool, so I have had to place some more!
00.17am: Trott almost got himself run out in the same fashion he ran Katich out yesterday, fortunately it was X-Doh shying at the stumps and he is a terrible cricketer and misses by 19 meters (ish)
00.27am: Had to nip downstairs and shut the pub, got myself a pack of WC&O and a pack of WPC (prawn cocktail) just in case I get peckish.
00.31am: Despite this being a pitch you could bat on all day, Trott keeps trying to get himself out, this time a thick edge carries to Hussey at gully/square leg, however (inevitably) Hussey drops a pretty easy chance and Trott continues, England 23/1.
00.43am: Nothing to report, just thought I wouldn’t leave too big a gap between entries.
01.07am: Bollinger bowls a ball about 4 feet over and 5 feet behind Cook which goes for 4 wides and brings up one of my bets, tastes sweeter knowing that is how it happened!
01.12am: X-Doh hurts himself whilst diving for a ball that still went for 4 runs, so one ridiculous cricketer nips off for a spot of physio and is replaced by (talking of ridiculous cricketers) Mitchell Johnson, ha ha!
01.24am: By my count England have just gone 13 deliveries without offering a shot due to inaccurate bowling, as if the Aussies weren’t demoralised already!
01.31am: Yawning repeatedly now, not sure if this could be my earliest finish?
01.33am: I thought for a minute X-Doh was warming up for a bowl then, sadly not, he would have been smashed all over the place, although Cook is smashing Siddle all over the place so it doesn’t seem to matter who is bowling. England 78/1
01.38am: Twatto is bowling at the moment, it is just shit after shit, he has hardly bowled 1 decent delivery in this entire spell, surely even Johnson’s wayward bollocks would be better than this?
01.51am: Very tired but think I will be fine to have my lunchtime FIFA battle.
02.01am: Lunch, England are 90/1 and very comfortable, now, FIFA time.
My opponent is Croixfeuillage (French?) and he is hovering over Monaco, they are rated 3 ½ stars, so I go to Newcastle (also 3 ½ stars) and we both select, I enjoy it when people don’t automatically go for the obvious, Real Madrid, Barca, Man Utd, Chelsea or Liverpool (see what I did!), It makes a nice change…and battle commenced.
Now….it was a very poor game, no chances and we were very evenly matched, the only goal of the game came in the 90th minute when Andy Carroll turned on the edge of the box and powered a shot low into the corner, and I won 1-0.
Fredi Fudpukka – Croixfeuillage
Newcastle Utd Vs AS Monaco
02.41am: 1st over after lunch.
02.51am: Cook gets his 50, he has now scored over 350 runs in this Ashes series, very impressive.
03.02am: Trott also get to his 50, this is great fun to watch and Ponting literally looks like he is about to cry, I remember reading a tweet this afternoon saying…
“Let’s see if we can get Ponting dropped before the end of the series”
…I laughed but it isn’t out of the question if Australia don’t perk up soon.
03.05am: I mentioned getting crisps before, I never ate them then and am now tucking into the WC&O, yum!
03.13am: Really tired now, may consider calling it a night, I’ll see what happens.
03.21am: The TMSofa team are referring calling Doherty X-Doh, I invented that nickname, I shall remind them!
03:31am: After reminding them that I first coined ‘X-Doh’ they gave me a big shout-out and plugged this diary, what a great bunch of guys!
03.40am: Drinks break, England are 145/1, steady but very secure progress being made, the Aussies are bereft of ideas on how to stop this, it’s beautiful!
03.47am: I am really tired now, definitely going to sleep now.
03.50am: Ok, something happened, Cook was given out while hooking at a delivery, he knows he never touched it and immediately reviews it, the replay shows it brushed his elbow and the decision is reversed, that is so demoralising for them, they finally thought they had their man, sorry guys, better luck next time.
08.53am: Awake, England finished the day on 317/2, a magnificent day again, Trott fell cheaply for 78 with England then on 176, KP comes in after being padded up ready to play (including Brisbane) for about 61 hours and smashes 85 not out in reasonably quick time, but once again it is Cook who is the hero finishing the day on 136 not out meaning ahead of the 3rd day of the 2nd test he has already scored 438 runs, by far and away the player of the series thus far.
So ahead of the 3rd day the target is simple, bat, bat, bat and bat some more, get the total up around 550 if possible, and say to the Aussies, we have just batted for two days, now, can you?
I’ll sign off today with a tweet I have just read, that has made me laugh out loud..
Alastair Cook has been off the field for 11 overs of this series so far. Lazy. #ashes
Thanks to @Rich_Abbott for that.
See you tomorrow.
Sleep total for 1st test – 28.5 hours (still quite respectable but remember bad head + painkillers)
Sleep count for 2nd test – 9.25 hours
Food count for 1st test – 2 Cheese, Ham and Tomato toasties, 2 Ham and tomato ketchup sandwiches,1 Chicken and Mushroom pot Noodle, 2 slices of bread and butter, 2 mallow chocs, 1 WS&V, 1 WC&O, 1 Steak kettle chips (150g), 1 Roysters, 1 crunch corner, Faye’s leftover Cantonese chicken, 4 pints of diet Pepsi, 1 pint of Beck Vier, 1 bottle of diet coke (200ml) and 1 pint of water.
Food count for 2nd test – 2 pints of diet Pepsi, 1 WC&O.
FIFA record P8 W6 D1 L1 – F20 A12.