Trust me though, I would much rather be here in the fucking arctic circle of N. Wales than down under in a place that has 320 days of sunshine per year, much, much happier here!
I wrote yesterdays diary retrospectively and used a text commentary to get the times right, however today I made notes so as to be more accurate and am posting it much earlier, If there is anything I need to add I will do so afterwards.
01.25am: For those who don’t know anything about me or the pub, Thursday night is Open Mic night and is a very, very popular night and proved so once again, after finally getting rid of all the piss-heads and closing down I set myself up ready to watch the cricket.
You know the set-up now so here is a snack update, I have made myself 2 (yep, 2!) cheese, ham and tomato toasties with extra strong cheddar, I also have a pint of diet Pepsi, 2 mallow chocolates and a pack of WS&V, now this might seem like a lot of food…..it is!
England have failed to make any sort of breakthrough, Katich and Watson are looking reasonably comfortable and the Aussies are 78/0.
01.26am: Seems I picked a good time to start watching as there is a review straight away, Watson LBW, it is not out and England ask for a review, the Australian TV network covering the Ashes are not using hawkeye but something called virtualeye, as far as anyone can see it is the same and it shows the ball sliding down leg side, so not out.
01.28am: It appears Anderson’s ploy to upset Watson has worked as he edges a straight one right down the throat of 1st slip Andy Strauss. OUT, 78/1.
01.32am: Just to show how much attention I pay sometimes, I have only just noticed in the bottom left hand corner of the screen (assuming you are watching Sky Sports) it tells you who is facing who, as in batsman Vs bowler, nice touch!
01.47am: Man, staring to feel tired already, it has been a really busy night and coupled with a lack of sleep from the night before, I need to perk myself up!
01.49am: Oh yeah, good point, FM11 update (not played it much tonight), well, I have played 24 this season W12, D5 and L7, currently in 5th place and a whopping 6 points behind….Spurs, who are top, need to go on a bit of a run and a Champions League place is surely within my grasp, also need to sort my front line out, my four strikers are Torres, Aguero, Luis Fabiano and
David N’Gog (don’t be fooled, N’Gog comes good in 2nd season)
Also I was just thinking, I’m glad Stuart Broad doesn’t have floppy hair anymore, don’t get me wrong I had long hair when I was younger, but I didn’t need to pull it back behind my ears between EVERY FUCKING DELIVERY while live on Sky Sports, good lad!
01.52am: Just mentally preparing myself for my upcoming FIFA battle at the lunch break, all the food has now been devoured and I have half a diet Pepsi left.
01.58am: Finally Swanny comes in for an over and his first delivery has lots of turn, encouraging but I can’t help but feel he should have come on earlier.
02.02am: Lunch break, Australia are 96/1.
02.03am: FIFA time, I come up against TerrorTimpski, he chooses Inter Milan and I opt for Man Utd, slow start to the game and nothing really happens in the first half and we go in to the break 0-0.
After half time it is a different story, I race out of the blocks and score a delightful header after 47mins with Rooney after a cross from Nani, we had barely restarted when a through ball from Rooney finds Berbatov one on one with the keeper and calmly slides it past for 2-0 after 51 mins.
Now Inter start to come back and they score through Sneijder with a long range effort after 58 mins and its game on, however my defence proves too strong and I hold on for a deserved victory.
Manchester Utd Vs Internazionale
2 – 1
Rooney 47’ Sneijder 58’
He wanted a rematch but there wouldn’t have been time before play resumed so maybe next time, loser!
By the way, if anyone thinks they are man enough to take me on at lunch tomorrow, my gamertag on Xbox live is Fredi Fudpukka and I’ll be waiting at 02.00am for anybody who thinks they are hard enough (not sure if that sounded perverted but I’m going with it anyway!)
02.42am: I have barely taken my seat after a pit stop when Ponting tickles on leg side straight to Prior and he is OUT! I feel a second wind and set myself a target of making it to tea at least, 96/2.
02.50am: Katich gets his 50, what an annoying bastard, how do you get him out?
02.55am: Ahhh, that’s how you get him out, caught and bowled by Finn, great work by 6’7” Finn to dive so low, so quick to catch that, can’t imagine Crouch (same height) would have looked quite so graceful!!
03.01am: This has been bothering me for a while, Steven Finn reminds me of someone and I have just figured it out, he looks like Dr Caroline Todd from Green Wing (which, in case you never watched it, is fucking brilliant)
03.08am: Finn (and pretty much everyone else) think that Clarke has been caught behind, umpire says no and Strauss immediately reviews it, nothing on slow-mo or on hot-spot and it is turned down.
Snicko is not being used for reviews but Sky Sports has it in use anyway, and it shows that the ball did feather the inside edge, hope that doesn’t come back to haunt us.
03.20am: UH…OH!! really starting to flag now, don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to stay awake!
08.12am: Awake, check the score and England only took 2 more wickets and the aussies finish on 220/5, with Mr Cricket (FYI… shite nickname) on 81 not out, although from what I have seen it seems that the umpires are definitely in collusion with the aussies as we could easily have had another 45 mins play, Jimmy, Broad and Finny would have torn through that tail, but hey ho.
Seeing as I have been writing this and not getting anymore sleep I will no doubt be fucking knackered for tonight when we have one of the biggest bands in town playing and we will be very busy, also means I will yet again miss the first hour or so.
So, Mr Strauss (I know you are reading this) I require the boys to finish off the aussies for under 300 and you and Cooky to put around 50 on ready for when I come upstairs and settle down for day 3.
Oh and in case you wondered, it’s still very bastard cold.
See you tomorrow.
Sleep count for 1st Test – 10 hours.
Food count for 1st Test – 2 Cheese, Ham and Tomato toasties, 2 mallow chocs, 1 WS&V, 1 Steak kettle chips (150g) 3 pints of diet Pepsi and 1 pint of Becks Vier.
FIFA record for 1st Test – P2 W2 D0 L0 – F6 A1.