Doug Bollinger (whose name sounds like a wino from a Fast Show sketch!) will be playing in the 2nd test for Australia after Mitchell Johnson was unceremoniously dumped after being…well, shit! So instead of highlighting the danger that his left arm seam will pose, I thought instead we would make a big deal of the fact he is the vainist man in cricket (which is quite a statement when you consider the amount of hair products that Jimmy Anderson uses)
For those of you who are not aware, Doug was almost completely bald by his mid-twenties (a rather dashing look if you ask me as I too was bereft of hair by my early twenties) so he decided to have a hair transplant….that’s right, a hair transplant.
Now we all know that there have been numerous cricketers that have had treatment on their hairlines, most famous would be Shane Warne and Graham Gooch, the greatest bowler of all time and surely one of the greatest batsmen ever, now these guys were going thin and had treatment to encourage growth and restore their original hair, what Mr Rug did was have a complete transplant, essentially having a permanent wig fitted.
So here’s to Doug Bollinger a man who despite knowingly being in the public eye decided he would be the bigger man and get himself a wig, I just hope he is shite against England so we can ridicule him for that as well!
Marcus J. Mitchell.